365 DNI had just hit Netflix, and I won’t even DNI that this is gonna be my worst breakdown ever.
The polish film is about polish-ing knobs but it also comes with an ending that leaves a lot to talk about. So sit back, and grab your lotion because we’re going in deep on what we think happens and how it could set up a potential sequel.
Obviously, there will be heavy spoilers here so if you don’t want anything ruined then now is the time to use your safe word and get out of the video whilst you still can.
365 Days Recap
365 Days follows Massimo Taglitelle the leader of the Torricelli mafia. When Massimo isn’t getting brain on a plane he’s on a boat like T-Pain. This movie is very much one for the lovers of lockdown.
It’s one of those rare films that comes along once in a generation that makes you teach yourself how to clear your watch history on Netflix and if you share a family plan then chances are you’re gonna be getting some funny looks around the dinner table come Christmas.
Oh shut up Maureen you watched it too.
Massimo is a man that is obsessed with women and no more is this shown in the opening when he spies on one wandering along the beach…through binoculars…yeah he’s literally stood there with binoculars on. Though this should come as something he regrets as his father is killed due to it, he obsesses over the woman that caught his eyes and lead to his daddies demise…leading to an…interesting story. Interestingly, I will say that.
Eventually, he catches up with Laura and we watch as this live-action adaptation of Beauty and the Beast tells us that all you have to do to get a woman to love you is take away all of her options and leave her with absolutely no choice in the matter whatsoever. Yaay love.
Massimo tells her that he will keep her as a prisoner for an entire year until she falls in love with him and he ruins her relationship, threatens her family and makes her his slave. I’ll admit, it’s a…it’s a bold strategy…not one I’d open with but I’ve seen worse.
He tells her that he won’t touch her without her consent, but after just one week she caves and gains full-on Stockholm Syndrome, so…yeah…set feminism back to the dark ages. Surprised Emma Watson wasn’t up for starring in this.
Massimo hooks up with women in front of her…are you in love yet? He slaps her…are you in love yet? And takes her to a club, as the two star-crossed lovers fall for one another.
Here she flirts with another mafia member who gropes her which leads to Massimo killing the man. Hey, no one gropes my objects other than me. This causes a mafia war between the two families that has massive repercussions in the end. Though Super Mario tells Massimo to ditch the witch he refuses to, which leads to a big cliffhanger. I almost called her a b-word there but I thought best not as there’s been enough objectification going on in this video.
That reminds me, I must remember to let my wife out of her cage today.
See not all men are bad.
Is Massimo the Villain?
This is probably one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen but it’s also one that I couldn’t really stop watching. The entire thing is really all over the place, whether it’s the constant language changes, the character motivations switching without making sense or just the general wooden acting, it’s completely terrible and amazing at the same time.
The script makes 50 Shades of Grey look like it’s Ulysses and Massimo makes Anakin Skywalker look like he’s got the same way with ladies as James Bond does.
Never before has there been someone who’s done it so wrong but somehow ended up doing it so right.
But he’s so hot though.
It’s a weird film and I’ve got no doubt that some single man that’s was trapped in his basement for the majority of lockdown is contemplating suing Netflix because they somehow stole the entire storyline from his imagination during one of his darkest days. Obviously, Massimo can’t be the bad guy for the entire thing and they do have to find a convoluted way to make the two actually like each other no matter how many pictures of himself he has hung up.
Don’t worry brunettes, it makes blondes look stupid too, they’re all about equality here.
Laura ends up almost drowning and Massimo saves her which of course leads to him drowning in Pussy.
I told you it was the worst video I’ve ever made.
I actually love the Wikipedia description for the set-up to this scene as it just says
‘When she wakes up, he admits he was scared she might not make it and doesn’t want to lose her. They then spend hours having sex.’
Thank god no other films are probably gonna be at the Oscars this year because they’d lose to this anyway. Martin Scorsese must be crapping himself.
Falling in Love
Massimo slowly loosens his grip on Laura and he allows her to go visit her family whilst he sorts out the business back home. After hearing nothing from him she goes clubbing with her friend Olga and runs into her ex Martin who follows her back to her home where Martin is waiting around like Batman.
Martin realising you can’t fight the dark knight leaves and Laura initially angry at Massimo forgives him after seeing the wounds from the Mafia war. Awww you were killing people that’s so sweet.
The next morning Massimo proposes and Laura says yes because who wouldn’t want to marry a man that keeps women captive against their will? She also finds out that she is pregnant and with her friend Olga goes to try on wedding dresses without Massimo.
How Doe it End?
The film ends with Luigi finding out that due to the fallout from their gang war Laura has been marked for death. Mario goes to Massimo but it’s too late to warn her as he loses his phone signal with her as she enters a tunnel.
Maybe none of this would’ve happened if you’d not let Massimo enter your tunnel ey Ammi right?
Now there are a lot of implications over this with the main one being that Olga, Laura and the pair’s unborn child have been killed. However, due to the speed that the police show up and lock the area down, I doubt that this would’ve happened as the mafia would need to get out of there quicker than Laura should’ve gotten out of Massimo’s house when she had the chance.
Instead, I actually believe that she has been kidnapped by the group and will be held hostage.
The final shot of the film lingers on a boat for a very long time so this may be where she is now being held.
Will there be a Sequel?
365 DNI is actually based on a book by Blanka Lipinska that is the first of a trilogy…just in case you didn’t think it could rip off 50 shades any more than it does.
In the second book called Ten dzień, which translates to This Day, Laura is taken by the Mafia rivals and we actually learn that Massimo has a twin brother called Adriano. Adriano was not in the first film as he studied in Britain and lived there for the events of the first book. Olga starts a relationship with him but you can bet that they probably swap to see if anyone notices. Absolute weirdos, I tell you…but he’s so hot though.
During her kidnapping, Laura falls for the new people that have taken her captive most notably a man called Nacho who she too gains Stockholm Syndrome for.
Hey, Massimo, what do you call a girl that isn’t yours? Nacho Girl…haha got em.
Come on, that deserves a thumbs up.
Massimo eventually manages to get her back but this causes a gang war between the two Dons that causes things to escalate further.
The events of the first book are slightly different from this film with some events happening at different times and them ending slightly. I don’t think the book ends on a cliffhanger…I dunno if that’s true…I’ve not read it…but I did read about it on Wikipedia…which is the same sort of…so I put in more effort into writing this than they did the movie.
So they will likely follow this framework but there is a possibility that they change things up. I would say to ditch the twin brother thing but hey, it’s not exactly like this film is trying to do something new.
But yeah keep your eyes out.
My Review
So, what did I think of the film overall? Well, what a weird film for Netflix. This is lowkey just porn except for the story is not as good but I don’t think people will stop talking about it for a while.
There are obviously a lot of things wrong with the movie in terms of the way it portrays women and so on but Twitter doesn’t seem to be complaining which is weird because this is the platform that got mad because Sean Connery slapped a woman on the bum in Goldfinger.
Now the movie is terrible…terrible terrible terrible…but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t watch it.
Obviously, You will have to make sure your parents are not only in the room but you probably also want to keep a 5-mile distance from them and also make sure that you smash up your tv after it so that no one sees it. The film is like something from the hub, except the acting and storyline isn’t as good.
365 Days probably deserves a 1/10 and also a 10/10 at the same time because it was the worst film I’ve seen in a long time but it’s also one that you have to watch.
I have no idea what’s going on anymore but yeah, watch this film…if you’re over 18, I don’t want anyone blaming me for ruining their childhood more than I already have.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on the movie and what you think happened at the end.
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